Study Shows Porn Leads to Disbelief in LDS Faith

AP- Salt Lake City

What has long been thought to be the case by those who believe in the Latter-Day Saint, or Mormon faith, has now been proven to be true. Pornography leads to a lack of faith in the Mormon faith.

Daniel R. Millstone, a leading expert at FARTS, or Foundation for American Research Trashing Sinners found that when strong priesthood holders such as Bishops, High Council Members and even Church Apostles were subjected to dirty videos and magazines such as Hustler and Playboy, that their testimony in the truthfulness of the LDS Church diminished.

We interviewed one participant by the who did not want to disclose his real name, but instead went by the name of Former Ultra TBM Mega Lord to find out what his experience was.

"I was as solid as a rock, a true iron rodder. I figured that when I was contacted by the FARTS guys that whatever their experiment was, that I would be able to handle it. Unfortunately now I CAN'T STOP HANDLING IT! My IRON ROD is getting sore, and I don't believe in that silly Mormon whatever it is anymore!"

We talked with Dr. I.M Hardon to get an explanation of how the study was carried out.

"Well, what we would do is bring in a true believer, someone who was currently on a mission for example, or even the mission president. First we would give them a quiz by asking them questions like 'Do you believe the Book of Mormon is true?' Then we would record the responses with a scale like

100% believe it to be true
90% believe it to be true, but have one item 'on the shelf'
80% believe it to be true, though I question a lot
70% believe it to be true, sometimes feel like a New Order Mormon
60% believe it to be true, but it could be as true as the Catholics,

all the way down to 0% belief, the LDS Church is the MOST EVIL organization on Earth EVER!

We then had these RMs, Bishops, Apostles, etc. watch R-rated movies and then administered the quizzes again after the viewing. Generally speaking, after the R movie, belief in the LDS faith dropped by an average of 10%.

Then we had new participants watch XXX rated films. In general, the belief in the Church for a 100% committed person dropped down to the New Order Mormon phase or to 50%. Those who watched 2 films left the study wanting to fire bomb the temple.

Former Ultra TBM Mega Lord said "If I had some fertilizer and other ingredients, I would probably storm my local church building. What a BUNCH OF EVIL HEATHENS THOSE LDS ARE!"

"Was there a particular teaching that has turned you off to the Church and made you REALLY mad about it?" I asked.

"Well, no, but when I saw Peter North taking on 5 women, I just knew that the LDS Church couldn't be TRUE!"

I then talked with David Bednar, the only apostle to participate in the study to get his reaction.

"Well, losing my testimony after watching 'Hot Women and Ugly Women Part 14.'was really tough, I mean I have alluded in the past to personally eating pickle sandwiches with Jesus, but after that I (sniffle sniffle) just don't know anymore. I'll probably have to have you keep my name private in this article because my pay is really good, and I will have to continue living a lie, but I can't afford to give up my 6 figure salary."

We asked Dr. I.M. Hardon why he feels that these people lose their testimonies when they watch pornography, when the pornography isn't necessarily showing anything evil about the Mormon faith either good or bad.

He suggested that it was the intense anger over the lose of polygamy back in the 18th century and that the volunteers were disgruntled that they would not be able to do the same things in real life that they saw in the films and that therefore they were angry.

"You see one of these films and think...Wow, I'm going to go out and have threesome! Then you realize that the Church doesn't currently allow for an additional wife for the threesome and you get all mad, then you realize that you've been robbed as a robust virile guy by the Church, wish you can go back in time to those polygamy days and can't do anything about it. Then you start to 'kick against the pricks.'

So what had the experiment done to females testimonies when they watched XXX rated films?

"Well, women of course are asexual creatures who don't get excited by that sort of thing, they have no propensity to masturbate or look at dirty pictures, or anything of that kind, so we didn't even think to do an experiment with them." Dr. I.M. Hardon said.

"I figure that if we do an experiment with women, we will see how gambling or shopping for shoes or something destroys their testimonies. I mean, the reason most women leave the Church is obviously that they have some sort of gambling problem or drug problem which makes them lose their testimonies."

"Obviously." I said