Bishop Rood and the Church Wedding

"Now I understand that you two would like to use the Cultural Hall for your reception in order to defray the costs of using one of those expensive marriage centers." Bishop Rood asked the young couple in front of him.

"Yes. It would be great and we could make it so lovely." said the young bride to be. Bishop Rood had been unable to get a naked picture of her at Girls Camp a couple of years ago and so automatically didn't like her. he didn't like the Groom that much either because, well he was going to get to have sex with this girl and Bishop Rood wouldn't. Life just wasn't fair.

"Well, I'm afraid that because your wedding will not be in the Temple, I can't allow you to use the Cultural Hall." Bishop Rood said.

"But YOUR SON got married outside of the Temple and you let him use the cultural hall!" the Groom protested.

"The Church isn't about how righteous you are, it's about who you know and who are related too. Duh!" Bishop Rood said while a small bit of flem flew out hitting the Groom on the glasses. "I will NOT allow you guys to be an example to the rest of the congregation that it is OKAY to not get married in the temple and STILL expect to be able to use the Church facilities for a reception."

"But my dad is the Stake President!" protested the Bride, "He will override you so that we can use the cultural hall."

"I doubt that. He's already very embarrassed that you two aren't getting married in the temple."

"What are we going to do?" the Bride started tearing up.

"If you will both confess your sins that are preventing you from going through the temple, then I will see what sort of arrangements I can do." Bishop Rood conceded.


The groom waited outside while his Bride was being privately interviewed. Bishop Rood must have really been putting her through the coals to make her repent, what with her occasional screaming and moaning. Then he heard Bishop Rood screaming too.

"YES!!!!" He heard Rood scream out. "Your sins have been taken care of!!!"

After a few minutes the door opened and the Bride came out looking sweaty and unkempt, with a bit of a smile.

"Isn't getting those burdens of sin off of you great!?" Bishop Rood asked, "Now I will speak with you Brother Grimace."

The Groom, Brother Grimace, followed Bishop Rood into the room and sat down.

"Now let me ask you straight, Brother Grimace...Do you masturbate?"

EPILOGUE
Bishop Rood called back the young couple a couple of days later.

"Hello, Brother Grimace, this is Bishop Rood."
"Yes."
"About you wanting to use the Cultural Hall for the reception. Well, it's still a no go." Bishop Rood said apologetically.

"What! Why not? I even performed oral.." Brother Grimace started protesting.
"Yes. Yes. I tried my best, however, your father in law, the Stake President and I have decided that the best course of action would be to hold your reception at the cannery..."