Bishop Rood was tired. He has spent the last several hours at the LDS Chapel he ran as Bishop of the Insomnia 2nd Ward, Bluffedyou, Utah throwing his authority around. He was making sure that the families that came in for recovery from the recent flood all got to bed on time and didn't soil the sacred nature his sanctuary through loud laughter and cheer after losing everything they held precious.
He spotted one of the 50 year old or so women from the Froghorn family walking towards the kitchen looking like she was trying to hide something. She wasn't a member, but the Red Cross had some sort of agreement with the Church so he was forced to let these scum spend the night in the precious church building.
He had hidden cameras installed in each of the bedrooms, ie classrooms, but so far he had not been able to catch any of the families that had come to the church from the flood zone engaging in sex so he could upload it anonymously to some of the online websites he ran. Since doing that on the side, he had been able to upgrade from his old Ford Pinto to a nicer Lincoln Continental because of the extra banner hits. He also could determine which of his members he occasionally caught snooping on his website needed counseling for porn abuse and even worse...self abuse.
He moved towards the lady and asked, "What do you have there?"
"Nothing." Ms Froghorn said.
"Hand it over!" Rood demanded.
She nervously handed the cup over.
Rood smelled tea!!!
"DO YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU HAVE DONE!!!!????"
"No." Ms. Froghorn said cowering in fear.
"YOU HAVE DESTROYED THE SANCTITY OF THE HOUSE OF GOD BY DRINKING THAT VILE FILTH IN IT!!!"
The next day the foreman of the demolition team asked his co-worker, "Did we really get a call from the Pastor of this place saying we needed to raze it to the ground? I don't see any flood damage."
Friday, January 9, 2009
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